Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
