...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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