I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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