i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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