you would pick up someone in the library
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize