make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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