i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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