Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
