good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
