my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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