I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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