What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
