Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
