I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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