I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
