they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
