I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
