tell your sister to shave her snatch
he thought i was a dude.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I forget how to act sober
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
