Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
we're making bets on your personal life
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
