I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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