I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
