Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
