take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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