my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
how drunk are you?
Several
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
