You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
