i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I haven't been this sober since birth.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
