i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
