Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
