U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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