Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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