if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
