So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize