I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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