Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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