dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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