We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
