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• (631): View more from New York

  Where you are. You must stay where you are are

  (631): View more from New York

  Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu

  (631): View more from New York

  Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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• (607): View more from New York

  My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.

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• (714): View more from California

  When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

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• (661): View more from California

  Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.

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