He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
