Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
