the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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