And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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