so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
