he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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