my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
