What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
