Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you would pick up someone in the library
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
