she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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