I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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