Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
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He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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