i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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