my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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