but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
