So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
