Your tits are I can't wait for
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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