do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
