Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My liver is preforming stress tests.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
