Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
