my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
