his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
