Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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