thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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