Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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