Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
