Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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